You’re Not Self-Sabotaging — Your Nervous System Is Just Doing Its Job

People come into therapy saying:

“I sabotage good relationships.”
“I push people away.”
“I always choose the wrong person.”

Here’s the reframe that changes everything:

You are not self-sabotaging.

You are self-protecting.

Your nervous system is wired to recognize familiar, not healthy.

So when calm shows up, it feels boring.
When consistency appears, it feels suspicious.
When safety arrives, your body waits for the other shoe to drop.

That’s not dysfunction.

That’s memory.

Protective Imprints form when your system learns:

• What love costs

• How closeness ends

• What emotions are allowed

• How much of yourself is safe to show

Those lessons don’t live in thoughts.

They live in muscle tension, breath patterns, attraction, and reflex.

Which is why insight alone hasn’t fixed it.

Healing starts when you stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?”

And start asking:

“What did my system learn to survive?”

That question opens everything.

If you’re tired of repeating the same relationship patterns and ready to do real nervous-system-level work, this is exactly what my Codependency Course was built for.

Not surface-level boundaries.
Not mindset hacks.

Deep pattern awareness, somatic tools, and practical relationship change.

👉 Explore the Codependency Course.

If you’re not quite there yet, you can follow along on Instagram or save resources on Pinterest — I share tools you can come back to when your system feels ready.