If you keep finding yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable partners, it’s probably not because you like chaos. It’s because your nervous system recognizes something familiar. This post explores why “bad boys” feel irresistible, how codependent patterns form, and what your Protective Imprint has to do with who you’re attracted to.

If you keep choosing unavailable partners, pushing away safe connection, or blowing up good things, you’re probably not sabotaging yourself. You’re protecting yourself. This piece reframes “self-sabotage” as nervous-system memory — and shows where real healing begins.

It starts with distance. Then desire spikes. Then sex becomes the bridge. Then someone pulls away again. If you keep finding yourself in this intense push–pull dynamic, this post breaks down what’s actually happening between two nervous systems — and why it feels so addictive.

I use the term because it exists. I hate it because it misses the point. If you’ve ever felt broken for wanting closeness, this is a compassionate reframe of “love addiction” through the lens of trauma, attachment, and nervous-system survival.

Somewhere along the way, caring deeply started getting labeled as pathology. This post unpacks how “codependency” became a catch-all diagnosis — and what’s really happening underneath the behaviors we’ve been taught to shame.

Attachment styles gave us language — but they didn’t give us change. If you’ve ever thought, “I know my pattern… so why am I still doing this?” this one’s for you. Let’s talk about what attachment theory misses — and how your nervous system’s protective strategies actually shape your relationships.